My Pain

A little poem about my miscarriage.

I’ve shed tears and I didn’t even know you,

I’m in pain, but there’s not much I can do.

You were supposed to be here next year,

Now we won’t see you, but I know you are near.

I want to believe you are in a better place,

I want to understand the reason for this disgrace.

I will leave you in God’s hands,

Because He is the one that understands.

What do you think?

Finances

It’s the end of the month and I can’t believe how time has gone by so fast.  I am thoroughly enjoying my time off with Ethan.  He is such a blessing!  I give thanks and praise to God everyday for having him in my life.  The highlights of my days off are when we get to go to his swim lesson.  Holding him in my arms, wading through the water, trying to teach him to blow bubbles is amazing.  Truthfully, I am just so happy that he no longer cries when he’s in the water.  I was afraid I was going to have to put up with him crying for two weeks, but now the two weeks are almost over.

From my last post you could see that I am truly frustrated.   I can’t figure it out, but you know what, I give up.  I am going to leave it in God’s hands.  Don’t get me wrong, I am still going to get up early to make my husband’s lunch, but I am just not going to stress about where each little penny is going.  I have to focus on all the blessings God provides me with each day.  I will work on small goals.  Perhaps I should try and make some weekly goals.

Weekly Goals for June 30, 2011 – July 6, 2011

I am starting tomorrow in the middle of the week.  We shall see if that is a good idea or not.

Goal 1- Go to the gym 3 times this week.

Goal 2- Go out to eat only once this weekend.  (I don’t count going out to eat when my husband eats out at work because obviously I am not with him.  However, I do count that amount of money in our Dining Out category)

Goal 3- Make a weekly menu.

There….writing down my few goals makes me feel a sense of accomplishment.  Let’s hope I can continue that feeling when I update everyone on how I did.

Can't Figure It Out

So I originally started blogging because I wanted to take control of our finances, but I just can't figure it out.  We are out of control.  We spend more than we earn.  I look over our budget and I get so frustrated!  I can only do so much about overspending in dining out and the entertainment categories.  I guess I have to figure out a way.  I have to start cooking more, but let me just say I am a terrible cook.  Maybe one day I'll figure it out?

Learning

Well, we went to the beach, but it wasn't such a nice day.  It was cloudy and cold.  We didn't stay very long at all.  We basically had a picnic in the parking lot and then we let the kids play in the sand for about 15 minutes.  We learned that next time we go to the beach we have to leave at noon, so that the sun is shining by the time we get there.  That is what I learned on that day.

Ethan is learning, too!  Day 2 of swimming was so much better!  He didn't even shed a tear the whole 30 minutes.  He even leaned his face in the water to blow bubbles.  I can't wait for swim class tomorrow.

I am also learning how to be more sanitary.  I don't know what caused it, but I have pink eye.  It could have been me using my contacts longer that I was supposed to.  Or it could have been the chlorine in the water.  Well, now I have my antibiotics and feel so much better.  I will continue to wash my hands more regularly, with or without pink eye.  Hopefully, without!

So, this is what I've been learning in my life.  What have you been learning?

Enjoying Life

These past couple of days have been awesome!  I have been able to enjoy them with the people I love.  Being home for the summer with my son is one of the best things.  Every little thing he does amazes me.  Lately he has been lifting one foot at a time.  As he does this he begins squealing with delight-makes me laugh each time.  Today we took him for his swim lesson.  He is not used to the water and so he cried about 20 minutes of the 30 minute lesson.  He took semi-private lessons back in May.  Those didn't go so well either, especially because it was so cold.  We thought he would enjoy these lessons because it's starting to get hotter.  Also, these lessons are with other toddlers, so he is able to see other kids enjoying themselves.  We hope that he starts getting used to the water soon.

For lunch today I got together with some of the teachers from school.  We went to Olive Garden and most of us took our kiddos.  I am happy to report that Ethan behaved himself very well.  I was even able to eat.  I gave myself a $15 limit, but I went over by $2.  I don't mind that at all.  Having lunch with my co-workers helped me ease the pain of the miscarriage.  I was able to tell them what happened and I didn't have to make a big announcement.  I simply greeted them and just mentioned it to them fairly quickly.  Luckily, they didn't make a big deal about it.

So this month I have gone over the budget limit in every category.  I am going to really start staying within my budget limits starting next month.  This is a must, considering I have already set up my automatic savings plan.  One way I'm going to stay within the budget is by making sure I get out of bed at 5 in the morning to make lunch for my husband.  I will do what it takes.

I'm taking a trip to the beach tomorrow with two of my sisters.  One of my sisters has two kids.  It will be a nice day for the cousins to hang out.

Living in the Moment

My husband's birthday was on Wednesday and today, Sunday, is Father's Day, so what did we do this weekend?  Spend a lot of money.

I had to buy him a birthday gift.  Friday we went on a date and left our son with my younger sister.  It was quite a bit of money, but, oh so, worth it!  We went to see Bridesmaids- hilarious!  I tried to control myself because I laugh so loudly and I know it makes my husband uncomfortable.  Then we went to eat sushi-yummy.

Saturday I went out to brunch with a few friends from college that I hadn't seen in a while.  That was fun.  We got done a bit early, so I went shopping for a few things.  Definitely not in the plans, but worth it.  I will definitely stick to the budget much more starting next month, especially since I already set up the automatic savings plan.  Then Ethan and I went to my cousin's birthday party.  After that I came home saw the last bit of the Mexico soccer game and then watched the Canelo fight.  During the day my husband cleaned the yard and then he went to play golf.

Today, Sunday, I spent mostly with my dad.  Once my husband got off of work, I came home to be with him.  Ethan was a little fussy when he woke up from his nap, but then we went to the market anyway.  When we came back home, he was upset that we came back inside the house.  He wanted to go for a walk outside, and so of course I quickly put his shoes on and off we went.

Well, that is a brief synopsis of my weekend.  I'm not sure if I will add detail later or not...we shall see.

Now here is the expense breakdown for the week.

Wednesday:
Target (gifts/household items) - $91

Friday:
Movie and snacks - $26
Lunch and drinks - $50
Babysitter - $20

Saturday:
Brunch - $15
Babysitter - $20
Ross - $30
Walmart - $42
Golf - $11
Dining out - $42

Sunday
Breakfast - $15
Groceries - $63


How was your weekend?  Did you spend time with your dad?

Budget

I started this blog because I want to start sticking to a monthly budget and get out of debt.  I love reading other people's blogs about their journey to get out of debt.  I am starting to work on a plan.  I don't want to put the details of the plan because my husband might get a little bit upset if I put all our information on here.  I'll keep working on the plan and then delete some extra information.

From the blog Head Over Heels in Debt, I don't feel like I am alone in all the debt I owe.  So maybe I will post some of my information, especially since I have no followers.  (Hmm....I wonder how I get followers??)

Anyways, since I got married in 2008, I have been keeping track of our spending, but not really sticking to what I actually budget.  Now that we have a son, own two houses, and are very much still in debt, it is time.  It is time to do something different.  So thanks to all the information I have been reading on different blogs.  I will continue to use my summer vacation to crunch some numbers and develop a plan.  Wish me luck!

Not a Good Start

It is summer vacation, but it has NOT started out very well. My husband and I spent our Saturday at the ER. I had a miscarriage. There is really not much to say about that. I don't want to be one of those people that provides TMI. Even though that's probably why people start reading blogs in the first place- to find out as much information about a person as possible. Well, anyways. I think shorter blogs are better, so that is all for today.

Summer

Best part of being a teacher ---summer vacation---duh!